Give mastery a chance.
Field Guide for Moms Lesson 19
It’s that time of year for me and likely for many of you… time to clean out and donate some toys. I was going through a box of toys this week that my two-year-old had outgrown. And I know it’s counterproductive to have the girls with me while I try to get rid of toys, but alas there we were. Going through the box, my daughter picked up a shape sorter, something we did together a lot about a year ago but haven’t seen in a while. She sat down and did the entire thing by herself and giggled with glee and yelled “Mama I did it, I did it!” She was so proud of herself, she was a master of the shape sorter.
Last year when we did this activity, it was harder for her. I’d have to prompt her or nudge a piece her way, but she was little and she was still learning it. After watching her successfully master it another time, I realized that she had never had the chance to do this activity since she had been big enough to know what to do. Because the toys that I thought she’d aged out of were stored away or pushed to the back of the cabinet, she had never had a chance to see and feel her own mastery.
And maybe you already know where this is headed…but how often do we quickly move on from our own wins or add something else to our plate once we’ve figured out what is on it? This isn’t a suggestion to dwell or become complacent, but rather one to give mastery a chance. To set yourself up to win and then sit in the win and feel good about it for a minute. If you have a little space on your plate, leave it and enjoy the things you’ve already put there. When you are good at something or have achieved something, you don’t always have to make it harder or move on to the next thing right away. Let yourself see and feel your own mastery, it’s a boost of confidence, a jolt of joy, and a little more of those two things certainly can’t hurt.
I feel like I need to caveat that I’m not encouraging you to keep your children’s old toys, that’s not the point. But don’t always move them along too quickly or add a new challenge as soon as they finish the last one. Let them master it, let them learn confidence from comfort, let them say “I did it! I’m good at this!” and let yourself do and feel the same.
Keep going!
Love, Michelle